Hurting Feet & 33 years “JUST” tired.

FYI: Original written July 2017…   So, I DO KNOW when to quit working. I decide, remind myself to care for my health, then 10 minutes (OK 30) later, I’m still standing here on hurting feet, squinting now (took glasses off when I told myself to stop earlier). Y, I walked away & took a break, lay down for a 15 minute rest that turned into an hour and a half nap. It’s been, .. UM let’s see, 1985, that would be…. 33 !   I feel so much better after a rest, yet I am still upset somehow that I need it. (It is Extra isn’t it? to Nap is to be weak maybe?)33 years I’ve been ‘only’ tired.  Before they removed the tumour, I got to be tired with nausea and dizzy spells and seizures and mood swings. (OK so maybe the mood swings didn’t entirely go away, I am me after all. ) LOL.. 33… YEARS.. of blessings. I’m alive, relatively healthy, SELF Deprecation is always the next step when I feel like I should do more. I’m lazy, I’m… whatever Du Jour, .. Today I’m looking at, distract able, angry and impatient. Doing this blog post rather than looking up information I started to , The browser tab is open, but not working that tab, But this “feels more needy” right now. OMG – TMI that is.
I have begun to realize that in order to post regularly I need to have several drafts in the queue. I take much more than 5 minutes typically, plus, “distractions” happen.
Tom helps with distraction factor. 20150301_154958 Marty says: “Good enough for who it is for”, an insult turned into an acceptance or gratitude for what we have perhaps. My plan of action is typically not linear, nor much of a plan. However, we are warm & safe & dry, content. Well rested overnight, begin day with vitamins, coffee and 500 MG for the “minor” stiffness & aches. Lets see…. to do list…uh….preview/post!

The older I get, the more I meet people, the more convinced I am that we must only work on ourselves, to grow in grace. The only thing we can do about people is to love them – Dorothy Day


Orthodox Quotes

No cause to despair

When the Lord tells us in the Gospel that anyone who wants to be his follower must renounce himself, the injunction seems harsh; we think he is imposing a burden on us. But an order is no burden when it is given by one who helps in carrying it out. To what place are we […]

via “There is no cause for despair—by ourselves we can do nothing, but we have Christ’s promise.” — Eclectic Orthodoxy

St Caesarius of Arles = another ‘new to me’ Reading all these blog posts is making me become a student again.

I’m really enjoying reading posts on Eclectic Orthodoxy, (I’m a blogger not a theologian) Now I learn a bit more about many more saints every week. Below is a summary of what I read on Catholic Encyclopedia, Catholicity, Wikipedia (of course) and Orthodox Wiki. about St. Caesarius of Arles (Southern ‘GAUL’ ie. FRANCE) … I lost track of my cut & paste , so links are as they were brought over mostly.

Césaire d'Arles retable de la cathédrale Saint-Siffrein de Carpentras.jpg

Caesarius, is best remembered in Western Church as a popular preacher. Specifically preserved are those which deal with Old Testament subjects following the style of St. Augustine. There is a collection of about 250 of his important works, both original compositions and revisions of Patristic sermons, again, favoring those by St. Augustine; (…). Rehashing and updating well known works was a common practice in the 6th century and continuing throughout the Middle Ages especially for popular subjects & lessons.{Orthodox WIKI}

Although a scholar, his lessons were typically brief, (about fifteen minutes), utilizing direct and simple language, with imagery and comparisons daily life. The typical rhythm of life obvious and apparent to a townsman or peasant, would be illustrated, including; the sea, the market, the vineyard, the sheepfold, farming. He spoke eloquently in a hundred ways to the people in a Roman influenced, vibrant community of Southern Gaul. Makes me think of Southern France in a new way a bit. I think I might have enjoyed his style and perhaps learned well from his imagery.

He worked diligently to educate the laity to participate more fully in the life of the church alongside the monastics and clergy. He encouraged questions regarding his sermons to make sure his teachings were clear. He had a firm belief that everyone should study Holy Scripture at home, and treat the word of God with the same reverence as the sacraments. When needed he was known to sell church ornaments to ransom captives. Many contemporaries recorded generous and charitable works to him, and he was a great benefactor of his Church. Known as pious as peaceful, even through barbarian invasion, attacks and war. He ensured that charities operated for the helpless, yet was honored for tact and honesty in dealing with the powerful and rich. Caesarius is considered to be of the last generation of church leaders of Gaul that worked to promote large-scale ascetic elements into the Western Christian tradition.[Wiki Note#2] William E. Klingshirn’s study of Caesarius depicts Caesarius as having the reputation of a “popular preacher of great fervour and enduring influence”.{Wiki-Note 4}

Finally, I think it is important to note he influenced sacred liturgy in his cathedral. He was the first to introduce Hours of Terce, Sext, and None which appears to be used in worship in many Western Christian Denominations. These very old and orthodox traditions he also expanded to include additional hymns the psalmody of every Hour. While he was bishop (Metropolitan) he presided over several regional councils including those of Agde (506) and Orange (529) which are significant for the doctrines they discussed and heresies addressed.

Like much of my ‘study’ into new and interesting Scholars, it is difficult to get my head around how they truly reflect Christ and God’s Love in such a way to be named a saint or blessed. I’m struck by the way he is still considered to be a man ‘of the people’ as it were, very approachable and considerate of everyone apparently. This was the time when the Roman Empire was breaking up, the barbarians were descending, soon to leave only the Eastern Byzantine capitol of Constantinople. (BUT that is another history lesson to re-read, and refresh my memory on).

I do find it interesting that he is a saint of both the Roman Catholic and Orthodox. Although I suppose since he is from the 6th century, not too surprising.

It is significantly later than I expected. I will end my typos here. PEACE.

St. Gregory of Sinai Quote


To suffer for Christ’s sake is patiently to endure whatever happens to us. For the envy which the innocent provoke is for their benefit, while the Lord’s schooling tests us so as to bring about our conversion, since it opens our ears when we are guilty. That is why the Lord has promised an eternal crown to those who endure in this manner (cf. Jas. 1:12). Glory to Thee, our God; glory to Thee, Holy Trinity; glory to Thee for all things.
St. Gregory of Sinai, Philokalia

Monkey+Phone smallI gathered a few quotes, then thought, maybe I should find out more about these people.

First,Gregory of Sinai was a monk and mystic of the orthodox faith in the late thirteenth and early fourteenth centuries who advanced the practice of hesychasm and the Jesus Prayer and, with St. Gregory Palamas established Mount Athos as a center of Hesychasm.

Found icon of Gregory Palamas, located Mt. Athos (Greece), & St. Catherine’s Monastery (Jerusalem). Read comments & retorts regarding aescetics and Orthodox prayer.

Then of course, need to read even more!
The Philokalia is a Huge topic, collected texts, different traditional uses, sources, versions, and only recent English translations.

Hesychasm a prayer technique which has been unfortunately confused with, or equated to “quietism” or “empty mind” prayer which are condemned (because they are dangerous). Reading leads to utube, and my current fave, Father Spyridon on Jesus Prayer

To endure the Lord’s schooling of me through my life. Difficult thoughts, but I’m somehow thinking also about the Good Shephard. The picture of Jesus carrying a lamb across his shoulders, I recall the explanation that a lamb who was a “chronic” wanderer had it’s legs broken and carried until he healed. This prolonged dependance on and attachment to the shephard would ensure the lamb would stay close for the rest of his life. I don’t imagine God has inflicted difficulties, but I pray I can endure well enough to learn how to depend more on Him while I get through them. I pray to grow in my abilities to adore, praise, and reflect all the Grace and Love I’ve been given.PRAY-Silloete

Okay, now it is late, Peace to all.

Dressing as an “Easter” person.

I’m reading blogs I follow, and this struck me as very appropriate for my retreat days. I’m taking moments to plan & organize my life and habits to become more as I am ‘intended’ to be. I will progress albeit slowly, toward becoming Christlike, a worthy baby sister of my Lord, a new self as it says in Colossians. New and shiney to reflect God to the world as I travel through doing all my ‘must do’s’ that I am carrying. I’m becoming somewhat successful at banishing the daydreams of disaster and mayhem that plague me.

“Jesus Christ Son of God, have mercy on me!” I was able to relax and sleep awhile longer this morning thanks to God.  ANYWAY – HERE is a lovely repost from Trevor Hudson.

From Pauses for Pentecost Do not lie to each other, since you have taken off your old self with its practices and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge in the image of its Creator. (Colossians 3:9-10) Putting on our clothes for the day is an early morning ritual we all […]

via EASTER: Put On by Trevor Hudson — The Value of Sparrows

Friday 13th of April – Vacation Begins

I am taking a vacation from my caregiving tasks, somewhat nervous, but still hoping that the respite for me will be rejuvenating, and the challenges for Hubby will be not too overwhelming (I will be accepting I hope of his ability to adapt to the routine and new people in his situation.)


First challenges are beginning to emerge, he refused to discuss bathing with staff assist or standby while I am gone.
** I imagine too many disasters! **
PLUS (for me anyway) I have no commitments gotten for the ‘visitors’ to come & watch or assist in PMs. I’m trying Lord, to recognize that you Love these people, and I do not know them well, perhaps they will surprise and delight, I will pray only to recognize my part.

GOD is GOOD…. PEACE & PRAYER will be my focus. Yet, I continue to rethink things, then sirens go by (745 AM), and I’m blog editing rather than doing….But I did read

The more moderate life a person leads, the calmer he becomes, because he do not fret about many things — about servants and accumulation of material things. If we do get attached to these (earthly things), as a consequence, we expose ourselves to tribulations that lead us to grumbling against God. In this way, the desire for these many things fills us with confusion and we wander in the darkness of a sinful life, not even knowing ourselves. St. Anthony the Great  from FRPHOTI

I have hope my ability to be calm will improve! I’ve had LOL moments, (cry inside or later) when I [sry, train of thought derailment, perhaps will recover soon?!]


ReJoice! (Phil. 4:4)

“We who are given the fullness of true Christianity are obliged to be working on ourselves, to be watching the signs of the times, and to be extremely joyful, as St. Paul is constantly saying: ‘Rejoice in the Lord always, and again I say: Rejoice!’ (Phil. 4:4). We rejoice because we have something which all […]

via We Who Are Given… — Orthodox Christian Quotes and Catechism

Couldn’t stop this PM, kept reading & feel a desire to focus on the reason for my Faith. Yet, I hear a song, He is Risen! I know that He became man & Died! I believe It is  Impossible for my puny human intellect to comprehend the LOVE! I am only capable to attempting to know and follow HIM!  I’m a total failure in my own eyes. I see myself to be inept and incomplete in my ability to improve. If I’m blessed to live decades more, I am going to be a very very very faint reflection of the LOVE and COMPASSION JESUS CHRIST has SHOWN me!

SIGH, Even with the emphasis and difficulty rewriting this several times, I don’t know, I doubt myself, should I re-do, erase, or JUST POST?